Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Randomize
