This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I supernannyed him into submission
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
