I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Randomize
