When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
You were trust falling into bushes
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
