you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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