She just used a chaser for red wine.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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