He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
worst night to have a conscience
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
