Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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