Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
