i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
