so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
