I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
