I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Randomize
