"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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