so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
