haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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