the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
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