i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
