just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
