I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
