Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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