never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
