Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
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