If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
