Are we in a gay sports bar?
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
