It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
