Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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