I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
So much rum. So many feels.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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