If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
