pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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