So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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