I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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