And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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