so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Randomize
