What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
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