i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Randomize
