It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
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