Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
