I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
