Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
