Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
