sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
FUCK WHALES
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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