explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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