How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Randomize
