we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
