i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
zippers are such a cool invention
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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