I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Randomize
