..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Randomize
