whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
You left your underwear on the fireplace
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
