I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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