so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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