my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
