Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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