Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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