How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize
