i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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