so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
