He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
